domingo, 23 de noviembre de 2008

I've been very sensitive this days, and I mean VERY.
I've realized that I'm coping with all the heartbreak thing the wrong way, I'm always thinking about the wonderful girl that will arrive someday to my life, and all the things we're gonna do, in a very obsessive way, I even had dreams about girls, that I only know in my dreams, not a girl in particular, not her... I used to dream about her almost everyday, but those days passed away... about three weeks ago... anyway, all the people told me: "There's a wonderful woman for you out there, and some day she will find you". But I misunderstood, she will not come to my life if I wait for her, neither if I go searching her. What I need to do, is to continue my life, to pursue my dreams, do what I want to do... and then in the less unexpected moment... she will show off out of the blue.
So I decided to change my mental scheme, I used to fantasize about having a girlfriend, and the wonderful things we could do... but no more, every time I realize that I'm going through the same pattern, I pause myself, thinking that I have a lot of things to do, things that I've been postponing for a very long time, so I'm stopping all of my fantasize, and trying to become more of a reality boy, I mean: "here and now", oh yeah, the future seems to become promising, but that won't happen if I stay sited waiting for a faceless woman, so please help me, cheer me up, and remind me to finish all the things I have to finish.
That's my plan, but I still can do nothing about the dream's realms, what will happen? I don't know, but I haven't dreamed about girls since about three days ago, and I'm still very sensitive, I swear to you, that sometimes neither I can bear with myself, sad songs always have me on the edge of tears, I sigh frequently, and that feeling of something blocking my throat have come back, not as frequently as in the first days of all the drama, but sometimes. I thought it had dissapeared forever... I knew that this pain was physical too, but I've understood what all they said

In the meantime, let me introduce you a wonderful wedding photographer from San Francisco

Anna Kuperberg

She is so creative and so sensitive to the love, she always seem to be in the right place at the right moment, and she is great working with the people too. Looking at her photographs makes me want to become a blue prince, and to have an enormous dream wedding with all my related and friends, full of love

But right now, this song resumes where I wanna be:

Ladies and gentlemen (but specially ladies)... Dierks Bentley - Free and Easy (Down The Road I Go)


jueves, 13 de noviembre de 2008

I'm confessing here (again)
I never had a girlfriend, I mean like... never... and I'm not kidding here...About 9 years ago, I kissed a girl... a few weeks ago, I kissed a girl again... but this time she broke my heart... sigh... still hurts.
And that's all, the summary of my whole love life... and I'm meaning THE WHOLE THING, I'm skipping nothing... sigh... none of the two girls get to be my girlfriend, and I guess some kisses doesn't mean a relationship.
I guess my heart is still undamaged, at my age, many of my contemporaries had get a heartbreak some times, that makes a heart shy and careful... but my heart is not that way, my heart is still open at full... and still nobody notices... none of the girls who claim to want a passionate man... I'm here! And I'm ready to take the risk of getting my heart trampled on! My heart isn't shielded yet; is naive and fragile... and whoever wants it, can easily take it... It won't oppose... because it wants to be taken away.
I want to love, I want to love oh so much, I wanna get crazy in love... I can only imagine what lovers do, but I wanna make all that things...
But I'm afraid I won't find a girl for me... I'm a weird thing... I haven't had a girlfriend at the age of 25, and I'm some kinda childish... Where am I gonna find a girl who wants to play with me?...If a can't find another childish girl, at least I want a comprehensive girl... a wise and gentle girl... she would take my hand and show me new places and new colors, will teach me many things
Hope, hope, hope... It's all I got know... but I'm at my last

A good man

domingo, 9 de noviembre de 2008

I guess I've become a little more confident, all this is because of you... Cos' I won't forget the countless times you told me, that I'm a good man, a wonderful man, who cares about the others, sweet and tender, neither the many times you told me to go away, that you didn't want to hurt me... And I didn't pay you enough attention... I never loved someone before the way I love you... I won't forget the magic moments we spend together, when we talked an talked and the hours just passed by without being noticed... I loved you... I still love you... but I have to let you go... no matter how painful it would be...

This is the way life is, sometimes you pass through very hard moments, and you think that you won't pick up yourself never, but you have to... and you will do it

Asi es esto de los cacahuates garapiñados

One thing I have for sure: I need to keep going, because there are people who counts on me, and I won't disappoint them

Remembering you

sábado, 8 de noviembre de 2008

So your grin became mine, and I started to use your quotes, I used to think, why am I trying to forget you? seeing that is obvious that I got you even in my bones... but now I have no other choice.
It's sad to discover myself using your shrugs, and your grins. Makes me think of you. When will all this pain ends? as I told you, it's the first time that I have to go through this kind of pain, it's so crushing, but I guess overcoming this is part of growing.
And I suppose that you know the pain I'm goin' trough, because you are a survivor, a beautiful survivor, whom i'd like to hate, but I can't.


I'm tired of crying you, crying for you in the corners, in the bathrooms, in my bed just before I fall asleep, also I'm tired of having my head full of "if's", If we just... whatevs
A woman, a bit of stupid woman not a friend of mine, told me: "sometimes life can't be the way you want". lame.
Today I say to you, that life is always the way we want, every decisión we made, conscious or by omission, led us to the actual moment on our lifes, I know that, and if my heart is broken, it's because I WANTED this, every single choice I made, led me to this very moment. Besides, I won't let you take all of the fault, because I knew what I was doing.
Painful times full of tears.
I see us, and what we could be, in every couple in the world.
You took away a piece of heart from me, how can I even dare to offer a mutilated heart to the next girl?
All because of you